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It’s almost as if they know how bad the game is, and want their miserable digital lives terminated immediately. doesn’t stop there - opponents will rarely run away from grenades, and in some situations they may actually run towards them. Within the first four minutes of playing, no less than five enemies had managed to commit suicide by crouching behind cars, and attempting to shoot me through the vehicles until they exploded in their faces.

To its credit, Declassified lets you know exactly how awful it is almost immediately. Each mission is less than five minutes in length, and consists mostly of walking through a series of very small rooms, avoiding grenades that find themselves constantly tossed your way, and doing the tired old “breach and clear” routine every other stage. While Call of Duty: Black Ops II goes out of its way to at least look new, Declassified plays itself strictly to formula - the formula of, say, Call of Duty 3 as opposed to anything released in the past half a decade. These are not videogames, these are macabre comedies that, like the late Andy Kaufman, make use of elaborate pranks without necessarily letting the audience in on the goof.Īt least, that’s what I’m going to have to tell myself, because admitting that a game like Declassified could be made in earnest is just too damn depressing.Ĭall of Duty: Black Ops: Declassified (PlayStation Vita) I’m convinced instead that Nihilistic is a group of performance artists, creating works of intangible brilliance to break the fourth wall and satirize the videogame industry. Having played Call of Duty: Black Ops: Declassified, I realize now that this is not the case. Burning Skies‘ quality was such that I truly believed we were dealing with a bad studio. After I had reviewed Resistance: Burning Skies, I thought it was a terrible game developer with no talent, no ambition, and no resources.

Blop blop gun meme software#

I feel I owe Nihilistic Software (now nStigate Games) an apology.